I quite enjoy it, really. I suppose it helps that I am surrounded by countryside; within 30 seconds of leaving my front door my dogs are off the lead and pelting it over fields. Well. Malty (the dalmatian) is pelting it. Minnie (the labrador) is either gambling behind him or trotting happily next to me. Still too fat to run properly, bless her.
Sometimes I read a book on my iPhone, sometimes I listen to podcasts, but mostly I just walk and enjoy the silence. Sometimes, when I'm at the end of a really big field and there is no-one around but me and the dogs, it feels like I'm the only person for miles around. Which is rubbish because I can see the houses just behind the trees. But it's a nice feeling, anyway.
It's what I'm going to miss most when I move to London. My parents will still be on the end of the phone. All of my close friends who live round here (all two of 'em) will at that point have either married and moved away or will still be doing their Doctor training and won't be living here anyway. But my dogs can't talk to me on the phone and I can't go following a muddy bridle path whilst my dog races in front of me in London.
Of course, I'll still be able to walk in London. I'm sure I'll get on my trainers (walking is the only time I wear them) and go for a walk, discovering little side streets and cute little cafés, even though it'll be pavement rather than mud I'm walking on. And it'll still be a good way to get exercise, it'll still be fun and I'll still enjoy it.
But it won't be the same. When in London am I going to get the feeling of being totally and utterly alone, the only person on the planet? I'm never going to be able to bend down and ruffle Minnie's ears or watch Malty realise I've gone the way he wasn't expecting and race towards me with his ears flapping behind him.
More than anything, I'm going to miss the total detachment. I'm always someone's something — Carole's daughter, Garry's girlfriend, Katharine's university friend, writer on this or that site — and I like being able to be nothing for a while.
London is a surprisingly easy place to feel alone in. And I don't mean that in a depressing emo way. More in a, "there's loads of people around but no one's going to bother me" kind of way.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jo - although if it's the experience of not being able to see a single person for miles and miles, then yes, you're going to miss it. I think that was one of the hardest adjustments for me when I moved there (first time round!). But it has a load of other things that other places don't have - and home and the doggles aren't too far away. x
ReplyDeleteAwwww sad that you're leaving the doggies behind. I think I'd miss the sea the most if I moved to London, I like the city and I like being by myself, so it sort of appeals to me.
ReplyDeleteI don't know about London (yet!), but I find it surprisingly easy to feel alone (not necessarily lonely, although that too) in a big city. Lots of people around, but all minding their own business, incomparable anonymity.
ReplyDeleteCountryside walks with the doggies, though, are irreplaceable...